Wednesday, September 29, 2010

i didn’t die. yet.

But I have been super lazy busy, so I’m going to listen to Willie Nelson and eat chocolate in bed while I cut and paste a letter I wrote to jed on the social networking site known as facebook.  heard of it? no. well, I am pretty much cooler than everybody, so it should be catching on pretty soon. who knows, though, right?

Dearest Husband,

I've decided to send you a message of random things I would normally call you about or tell you when you got home from work. Or shout to you while you're pooping.  Since I know you're probably homesick and really wish I would tell you stuff you'll forget I told you an instant later.

1. I ate some coconut m&m's today. They weren't white inside like a Mounds bar is. They were chocolate colored. Brown. Weird, right? And they tasted just like coconut!  I know!!!
2. I hit my head on the tv in our bedroom yesterday after I bent over to pick up my camera case that was sitting dangerously close to that end of the dresser. Don't be alarmed when you see the three inch gash on my head and the stitches. It's really just a little scab with black dog hair stuck in it.
3. Sam's new favorite food is apple stems.
4. Why do my ears feel wet on the inside after I take out my earbuds? Are my eardrums rocking so hard to ABBA and Chocolate Genius that they break a sweat?  Do eardrums pee?
5. You need to fix that weird fan noise in Sam's room. He sleeps through it fine, but it drives me nuts when I'm trying to sleep and I can hear it in the baby monitor…..”fixit”.
6. Cadence bombed her phonics test today, but her teacher wrote a note saying that that grade brings her overall reading grade to a 97. I know. WTF? She's a super genius, even if she can't spell sail or pail right.  I really hope that’s not out of 1,000.
7. We're having spaghetti tomorrow night. I know it’s your favorite. You can tickle hug me later.
8. Bending over to put Sam in his crib at night squishes my guts. I wish I could just stand him up in there and leave it up to him to lay down and snuggle with blan..............................key! Or maybe platform shoes would help.
9. If I have another dream about people breaking in and me not knowing how to fire the shotgun, I'm going to call you. Even if it's five in the morning.
10. Call me. I miss you.

You’re welcome.