While doing some research on the web about BPA-free bottles and cups, I came across this little giraffe named Sofie who is made of BPA-free "green" rubber and is meant to be a teething toy for babies. Cute, but what idiot* is going to spend $22.00 on what could be a squeaky toy for my brainless little terrier mix? I'm not joking. Twenty-two dollars.
So when I ran over a "Sofie" at Target, I immediately looked around for the idiot it belonged to. I stuck it in my cart and carried on with my shopping, all the while keeping my eyes peeled for its owner. I made it to the checkout counter with not even one stroller or baby-toting mom spotted, so I figured I would just leave it at the customer service desk because surely someone who spent big bucks on this thing would return for it.
Finders-keepers you say? Well I certainly thought for an instant about becoming the new owner of a slightly used, almost-decapitated rubber giraffe. And then I decided I didn't want anyone thinking I was an idiot** for wasting perfectly good money on what we've already established is a ridiculously cocky piece of rubber.
And then she pulled up behind me in her stroller. And I knew it was her. There was nobody else around with a baby. Her boy was slightly older than mine and was rolling in an Axiom. I have never heard of it. Maybe because I don't ever do searches for MOST EXPENSIVE STROLLER EVER. Which, when I Googled Axiom stroller....is what I just came up with! $1219.
So. I smiled at her, took it out of my cart and held it out to her.
Me: did you lose this? Her: oh, yeah. Me: .... Her: .... Me: you're welcome. i ran over it's head.
I just saved you from having to buy yourself another overly-priced "green" rubber giraffe, lady. Maybe you could smile or say thanks or something. Or maybe you should just stick it. You. Know. Where.
* If you have one of these overpriced chew toys, you're probably just cooler, smarter, and care more about the planet than I do. Or, you have too much money and you should promptly send me some of it. Thanks.
** FYI: I'm perfectly fine with people thinking I'm an idiot for doing other things.