Friday, April 17, 2009

Chocolate Wisdom

Last night was somewhat of a bummer for me. If my pregnancy hormones have been dormant in the emotional department for the last seven months, they have been saving up for today. Let's just say I showed my Maybelline waterproof what's up and then ate a half dozen of my husband's birthday chocolates to make things right.

To my delight, inside each wrapper of Dove chocolate goodness was a message. Think fortune cookie, but without the Cantonese lesson on the back. What a super ide
a! This is how a few of mine went:

1. Give yourself a break- you deserve it!~
Now this first one had me feeling a little guilty because I had just given my husband "the business" about something insignificant and then went straight for his birthday chocolates. Was this message meant for him? Should I be giving HIM a break? I needed another chocolate.

2. Seek out small indulgences fo
r yourself!~
How about six or seven? Those things are like crack!

3. Believe in and act on your dreams!~
This one had me excited because two nights ago I dreamed that my friend Laura and I went to Europe to watch an international sports game (insert desired sport h
ere) and then got caught stealing peaches out of an Italian orchard and making a narrow escape by driving backwards in her tan Carolla all while I was yelling, "It's drive on the opposite side of the road, NOT BACKWARDS!" There was also raisin rain and hot Italian dudes involved. Truly a delicious combo.

4. Steal 5 minutes for yourself today!~
Alright. So it's nine-thirty and I'm all cry-eyeballed next to JG on the couch watching the Office and laughing the chocolate out of my teeth over pee-filled water balloons and thinking "Does this count?"
Nothing to do in this situation but have another nugget of goodness and mull it over.

*(At this point I think I'm eating chocolates just to find out what my future/fortune/wrapper says.)

5. Give yourself a break- you deserve it!~

Again? Either these chocolates are psychic and pissed at me for pilfering from my truly deserving husband or... this one was truly meant for me.

6. Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow!~
Okay, chocolates. You had me there for a while, but now I'm starting to think you just googled some canned inspiration and printed it out on your tiny foil blankets to add some depth to your milk-chocolatey ambrosia. Bravo. It worked.

DEATH BY CHOCOLATE!


















((and then I did what any emotionally stable
woman would do after consuming 6x the suggested serving of life-inspiring chocolates....I made myself some gold fronts out of wrappers.))

4 comments:

Mme Paulita said...

hahahahaha

or boo hoo

Miranda said...

You crack me up....

Jenny said...

You know what else is like crack? wheat thins. I ate a family sized box...today.

Lawton said...

Nice grill girl - must have cost a fortune! {applause for pun}