Monday, May 4, 2009

Jessica Simpson and my dog aren't FAT!

I recently took little brown dog to the vet for a checkup/shots update and received some pretty somber news. Our quirky vet has a curly mustache and effervescent personality to match and it's really kinda hard to take him seriously while he's rolling on the floor with the dogs and telling stories that start with "one time a cow sat on me and I almost died".
So on this particular visit I just looked at him and laughed uncomfortably when he told me that our miniature-pincher was.... "fat". He just sat on the floor making out with my dog until I stopped laughing and then said, "Really, he shouldn't have a beer belly,"
He looked at me with the most sober expression I've ever seen on a man wearing a lab coat covered in dog piss. For a second, he even had me feeling ashamed. As if I went home every night and shared my ice-cream and cupcakes with the little brown dog or something. (Like I'd waste ice cream and cupcakes.)
The whole scene made me think of this celebrity news story and before I could say "say whaaat" I was being told to cut my dog's kibble supply down by half. He even looked at me from under his bushy gray eyebrows and demanded I cut down on snacks. (Looking back, he could've been talking to me in that instance.)
But seriously, I thought maybe he had swallowed some sort of horse hallucinogen before my appointment. Like all the people who called Jessica Simpson fat when this photo came out...

I'm not big on dieting and it goes without saying that I think my tiny dog needs to watch his waistline as much as I do these days. So, today while I poured some dry cereal into a bowl for my daughter's three o'clock snack-attack, I spilled a few Golden Grams on the floor and little pooch came swooping in from his pedestal/pillow in the bedroom and gobbled them up before I had a chance to bend my fat-butt over and pick them up. And then he thanked me with a little yip and took off to resume his perch.

He's never looked so happy. Except maybe the other day when I "spilled" a hot dog.

You're welcome, pal. I'm on your side.

1 comment:

Jenny said...

Well, I haven't noticed if I really think Boone is looking chubby or not, but as Bo's Mommy - I can relate. I love my chubby buddy so much that I do make him eat diet food, because I'm too chicken not to. However, as you know, he gets his fair share of wheat thins and pop tarts, too. (I'm hoping it will all even out.) As for Jessica Simpson - why didn't people just talk about that ugly outfit instead of her being fat? She looks awful in it -- but not because of her! Who would look good in that? Bleh. (Sorry - my two cents.)