Sometimes I Surprise Myself

So the other night Jed took a video of Sam. The whole fam-damily was smushed in Ladybug's tiny bathroom to watch the little butterball get soaped up and scrubbed down like the thanksgiving turkey my Aunt Ruth actually washed with soap when I was ten. Really. She totally washed the turkey in the sink before she cooked it. It was weird and I'm so glad I remember it.
Any ol' way. In the video you see Ladybug on her side of the tub (all private bits discretely left out of the shot) and then Mr. Sammypants on his little bathtub sling-ama-jig looking all cute and shiny. And then there's my ass. Giant and hovering over the bathroom floor as I bend over into the tub to manage the whole scene. That's another rant for another day and the camera adds ten pounds, so go list your diet tips somewhere else. I'm doing fine on the chicken and ice-cream plan, thanks anyway.

But once I got past the horror that was stuffed inside maternity shorts and the mess of towels, headbands, and naked barbies that was sprawled out all around the bathroom - I noticed something. I was doing it. I was washing a baby and keeping a six-in-September type entertained and safe in the bath tub and I was having a pretty good time doing it. JG was behind the camera laughing and Ladybug and I were in front of it laughing. And to my surprise, I didn't look anything like I imagined myself looking like after a whole day of balancing children, pets, and housework. I was smiling. I looked like hell, but in a happy to be exhausted kind of way.

And while I was watching the playback I thought to myself, I look just like those ladies at the Mall play-place who seem to have it all together. The ones I've secretly been jealously despising because of their seemingly effortless ability to nurse an infant and chase a toddler around the play-yard at the same time. I wasn't doing that, of course, I was bathing a turkey and a gangly little girl, but I made it look....easy.

It was a surprise. As if I figured all this time I was an awkward parent juggling a baby and a kiddo and making a fool of myself while spectators looked on shaking their heads and praying for my children.

For once I looked normal doing something.
And for once, that made me incredibly happy.

Sigh.