to baby

Sam,

Today you are four months old and your ears stick out a little. And it's adorable because you're my baby and not someone else's. You absolutely love the Johnny Jumper we got as a hand-me-down from Miss Annabelle. You especially enjoy it now that I have taped up some magazine pictures of babies all over the door frame.
You only do that baby goat noise when you're really scared or really mad. Which is a total improvement from a month ago when you did it pretty much all the time. Now if I can just find some new ways to keep you from getting mad, at every other thing we do, that will be super.
You love having your face washed and getting your diaper changed. I think you prefer when daddy does it because he makes up ridiculous songs about poop and pee to sing and that always makes you (and me) laugh.
I'm a little sad to see your hair grow in all over your head because I was really getting to like the bald-patchy rat tail thing you had going on for a while. I guess the fuzzy look will grow on me just in time for you to get regular old hair.
This morning I stuffed your arms and head into a tee shirt that claims to be made for a one year old person, but after the normal squirming and face making, your little baby body fit just perfectly in it.
I realize I'm going to have to mop the floor pretty soon since you're rolling over and "air swimming" on the play mat every chance you get. I guess it's about time. I'll see if I can find a mop somewhere in the garage, since my usual routine of wiping only the dirty tiles probably won't cut it any more.
Baby-proofing is something I'll be leaving up to your dad. He will certainly take it seriously (not that I wouldn't) and will probably enjoy the research involved. Perhaps he will come up with some inventive techniques for keeping you from finding the light bulbs like your sister did the second she took her first step.
I made you a shirt today. Well. I should say, I made one of your shirts awesome today. I'll take a picture of you wearing it and show you when you're a grown up. Since I'm pretty sure you're going to start protesting all things mama-made eventually. I'm thinking that starts around sixteen, but we'll see. Maybe you'll let me bedazzle your graduation gown?
You're taking a nap right now and that's a miracle since you mostly want to be sleeping in my arms when the sun is up. If I thought I could hold you like that for the rest of your life, I'd go on with that routine, but I'm afraid you'll need to sleep alone at some point and the separation might be harder on me than on you, so I've been putting you down in your bed lately. You rub your blanket all over your face while you're falling asleep and it makes my heart melt. It means I have to keep the door open in your room and check on you every five minutes, though. Since I keep having to go in and pull it away from your little nose.

*sigh I love you

Anyway. I can hear you talking to your hands in your bedroom. Your hands are your two best friends these days, and you tell them all your sweet baby secrets and then try to devour them the next minute. Everything you do is worth writing down and remembering, but I'll have to save some details for myself.

Did I say I love you?

I do. Now it's time for you to rub your wet baby fingers all over my face and pull my hair.