Last night my family sat around the dinner table gobbling some kick-ass chicken n' dumplins I made from scratch-ish. Yes, my g key does work, but my grandma called it dumplins- so I's gonna call it dumplins.
Anyway. We nosh and gnash and glug some milks and then Ladybug starts in about her day and all the crazy boys she is in class with. Seriously. One eats his napkin at lunch time and another one called somebody a turd-nugget. I hope these kids get smarter...turd nugget? Really? Weak. I hope when Ladybug slips up she says something like horseshit.
Then she sticks up her middle finger and says that she knows it means something bad, but she isn't sure why. This is when JG and I really get a chance to flex our awesome parenting skills. So we tell her that it is just a finger. NOT A LIE. And it only means something if the person you're showing it to thinks so. Or if you intend for it to mean something more than what it is. (It's a totally acceptable digit to use when pointing. Ask my seventh grade algebra teacher.)
We're playing it cool, but we remind her that the people at school aren't as cool as we are, so she can't stick that finger up while she's at school because they will assume she means something bad and she will get in big trouble. Like, maybe even have a "crayon" taken out of her behavior box. *dun dun dunnnnnnnn
With a few more examples of how people interpret finger and hand gestures she gets it and we agree that she can use the finger at home as long as she's not doing it in the spirit of Johnny Cash.
Then the conversation moves on to bad words. And she tells us that some kid told her she couldn't say her newest favorite phrase, "what the...". No hell. Not even heck. Just a what and a the punctuated with a funny face and some cute-infused inflection. I say that kid must be the one eating the napkins because all that bleached paper fiber has obliterated some brain cells. She says the one eating napkins was Joey and he's totally her bff.
Egads. Not ready to go there.
I know a bad word that starts with S.
Shit is just another word for poop, baby.
Mom, I was going to say STUPID!
Oh. Yeah. That one is totally way worse.
Don't say shit.
Sometimes I wonder exactly what benefits I am tossing into the gene pool. Besides striking good looks, of course.
7 hours ago