Friday, June 18, 2010

Tomorrow I have something SPECIAL: today you get this.

Tomorrow people are coming over to celebrate Sam’s numero uno birthday.  So I’ve been my naturally neurotic self today peppered, of course, with bits of uber insanism.  I said the eff word in front of innocent six year old concerning colored pencil shavings and/or the ingestion of said shavings by one almost one year old son.

You understand, though.  They fell on the floor.  You know, the one I’ve steam-mopped three times in the last two weeks.

I’ve been on a roll, actually.  With the mopping. Once every two weeks and then every week after Sam started crawling around.  And I have a lot of friggin floor.  Woodish laminate and huge ceramic tiles. Me and the Sh-ark thing are super close these days.  Historically, I am a purist when it comes to cleaning.  Like, do as little as you can get away with and only dust when your mother in law comes over.   I LOVE YOU MOTHER IN LAW!!!!

But, seriously, I mop too much.  Which is weird because I used to treat messes individually (because i’m super fair) … and each tile got it’s own rub-down on the occasion it got dirty.  Some tiles have never been wet at my house. Seriously.

But today. I mopped the crap out of this place as soon as Sam fell asleep.  And what happens?

1. dog barf (TIMES THREE).  yeah yeah, i’m concerned.  don’t you usually eat that right after? (THREE TIMES??)

2. pencil shavings fresh from a sharpener.  COLORED. (as if)

3. one pile of dog poop. (we changed the food. my fault.)

4. two puddles of dog pee. (it rained today, people. and apparently one of my dogs is having “issues”)

5. turkey. cheese. nutri-grain bar.

6. 1/4 cup of sugar. (again, my fault. i was drinking wine and baking birthday cake… sue me)

7. cat hair.

For about six minutes today, white socks and my floor were BFF.


Anonymous said...

Colored pencils were created by an evil being, I'm convinced. No good can come of them. They've ruined 2 expensive pencil sharpeners in my 4 years of teaching.

My dog is quite prissy with the rain outside. I usually win by picking her up and putting her outside, but it's always a struggle when it's wet outside. I feel your pain.

Joy said...

I just sprinkle cheerios in every room of the house from time to time. That way when my crawler sticks something tiny in her mouth and I can't retrieve it, I say "oh, it was just a cheerio." Saves me a lot of time with sweeping and mopping.

Will Burke said...

Feelin' your pain. We're vaccuuming every other day now. A year ago, I spent 2 days steaming carpet, the, 1/2 an hour afterreturning the machine, the dog puked. El Bastardo!

Molly said...

Happy birthday Sam! And congrats you - 1 yr is a HUGE milestone. Especially for parents ...
And get this, my Frieda is 3 tomorrow! We're prepping celebration number 3 (coincidence).
I feel yr pain.
Enjoy the festivities!