Congratulations, it's a PIXIE?

I found this little gem on the internet last night while I was feeding my weird yet completely innocent obsession for pinup portraits.

Okay. There are so many things about this particular find I want to address. Where. to. start. How bout the text? KOTEX says "sorry". Sorry for what? Is it their fault I had to dust off that box of tampons last week and ruin a perfectly good pair of thong underpants that I just decided was okay to start wearing again now that my butt is back to it's usual large-but-not-hugenormous self again? Did KOTEX invent menstruation? Why, KOTEX?
The lady in the drawing is hanging out naked. And smiling. Two things I don't do a whole hell of a lot when I'm menstruating. The artist was undoubtedly male. A fact that doesn't discredit his talent as a pinup artist, but maybe stains his rep as a good judge of character where the female population is concerned. Just sayin'.
And then there is the red scarf. Red, I get. We ladies are quite familiar the gimmicks used by product advertisers. A grumpy woman takes a pill and turns that frown upside-down. The young cheerleader shines at the big game, confident wearing a little white poly-blend skirt because her tampon was specially designed with her athletic spirit in mind. Even this
.

has been used as a cute play on punctuation. Period. . . Get it? Aww. Cute. Iwannabuyit.

But tomatoes? Really? Are we supposed to be hungry when we read this ad? Should I be making a marinara or buying phone book sized feminine products for my varying flow days? What were the advertisers thinking?

So the deadline for the Kotex account is today and we got nuthin.
Yeah, I just want to get this thing over and done with, so we can work on the ESPN billboard. SPORTS, YEAH!
Sporrrrttts! Seriously, what do we do about this period thing?
Let's put a hot chick in the ad.
I know a guy who draws hot naked chicks.
Call him up.
Okay. I'm hungry. Wanna try that new italian place up the street? I hear they make a mean bolognese.
Mmm. Tomato sauce.

It's a mystery to me, but it doesn't hold a candle to the one I found when I searched KOTEX SAYS SORRY to do a little more digging.

I really don't have time for this mind-blow. I have to handwash some delicates.