Tuesday, August 17, 2010

a longish post about *gum with two rhetorical questions at the end.

Some people work really hard trying to get their kids to use proper terminology when discussing human anatomy.  In my opinion, it doesn’t really matter if my kids call it pee pee or wee wee or vagina or whatever.  Let’s face facts here.  When they’re teenagers they’re going to call it balls and dick and all sorts of other things you wouldn’t want your mother in law hearing, so why bother with all the effort?  And mostly, the ~quote~ inappropriate words are going to be reserved for their friends and the kids they are trying to impress at the bus stop.  The parental units, as I recall from my own experiences, are spared discussions about genitals all together.  Win friggin win.

So tonight, while bathing Sam {the ferocious one year old dollface} and Ladybug {the nearly seven year old dance queen}, I heard a good one that made me laugh out loud and thank ye gods of propriety that I am not joining their club any time soon.

“don’t pull on your bubble-gums” she practically screamed at the little dude and covered his little gesture with a finger-pinched wash cloth raised at arm’s length.

Incapable of embarrassment and completely ticked off by her attempt to ruin the fun he stood up, pissed in the water, bent over, and stirred the pee with his hand while Ladybug watched in spastic horror swishing the tainted tub bubbles away.

We rinsed. They toweled. He was set free on the bed for a little naked time since the urinary security level threat was at an easy GREEN.  Diaper, pajamas, kisses, bed.

And then I sat to write it down, because seriously…when was the last time you stirred pee with your hand?  Or pinched your bubble gums?



*are you supposed to put the asterisk before the word it refers to or after? and by gum I meant ball sack.


Tammie said...

ha. bubble gums. ive never heard that one before.

i really dont care what my kids call their junk as long as it isnt too cutesy. i knew a woman once who taught her daughter to refer to her vagina as a 'pocket book.' UGH!!!!

also: once i was in a public restroom and there was a woman in the stall next to me with a kid about preschool age. the mom kept asking the kid if he had to "make boom boom." over and over: "are you sure you dont have to make boom boom? i dont want to come back here in ten minutes so you can make boom boom."

Boom Boom.

Wow, that was awkward said...

I dig a woman that uses the word "ball sack". When ever I say it (which is often), most women recoil.

Tammie said...

my all time favorite terminology for the male junk would have to be the very british 'meat and two veg'.

Stephanie Meade Gresham said...

Tammie: Okay. Boom Boom? For a pre-school sized poop that sounds ridiculous. Now, if we're talking about JG's shits...

And I put my phone in my pocket book. So. ick.

Wow: You must say it weird. Because I just looovvvve those words. Kinda like Cellar Door.

Anonymous said...

@Tammie: I guess saying that you're a vegetarian then, would have double meanings?

Note to self- do NOT let the children make their food preferences known while in London...

Little Girl Big Glasses said...

Laughed my bubble gums off. I think.