Hold the phone, I was EARLY for something?

Me: Hi, I have an eleven o'clock appointment.

Gynocologist: That's actually tomorrow. You must have written it down wrong.

Me: Oh, fooey. I was just so darn-tootin' excited to strip naked and try to wrap that yards worth of paper sheet around myself that I came a day early.

Gynocologist: I see.

Me: I guess I'll have to wait a whole twenty-four hours before I can come back and stick my feet up in those stirrups while "sexy nurse" hands you the bajingo jack.

Gynocologist: Yes.

Me: Can I try on your gyno-goggles?

Gynocologist: No.

Me: Thanks, anyway. See you tomorrow.