Wednesday, January 20, 2010

every body's doin it, doin it doin it.

Do you ever get those brilliant ideas that are so fantastic they blow your mind, but you can't tell anyone because you're going to be so incredibly famous and rich when you finally figure out how to {make it happen} and you're too greedy to share the wealth?
Yeah. Well. I do. And I can't tell you. But be nice to me because you're going to have your mind blown and you're going to want to tell everyone you knew me when I was just a blogger and not really famous at all {yet}.

Trust me on this one.

So, since I can't tell you about *that* I'll just have to blog about something less fantastic and be quasi-satisfied with whatever comes out.

See. Now everything I start to write about it crap compared to the best idea in the world and I soooo want to tell you about it, but you're the kind of person who will totally steal my fame and glory {you know who you are} and not give me any credit at all and then you'll be a star and I'll be just a blogger still who used to have a good blog but then her dreams were crushed and now she's a washup writing posts about dog-poop and baby boogers.

Oh, speaking of baby boogers....
Sam had a good large one the other day. It was of the "flapper" variety and kept getting sucked in and out of his nostril when he breathed. And it went really fast when he laughed. And Cadence and I thought it was awesome, but then I picked it and something MORE amazing/disgusting happened.

It fell onto his tongue. And he ate it. I KNOW.

I used my pinky to pluck it from his tiny nose-hole and the breeze from the fan blew it off of my finger and into his open, laughing mouth and it stuck to his tongue. I panicked and then tried to use the clean pinky on my other hand to get it off his tongue, but he just clamped right down on my digit and smiled. And Ladybug was pee-your-pants laughing and I was saying "baby, baby, baby" trying to get him to open his mouth, but when he finally did it was to chew the booger.

JG got out of the shower and we were peeing-pants laughing and he wanted to know what was so funny and I was kind of worried he might get mad at me for accidentally flicking a booger into Sam's mouth, but I took the chance and told him anyway. And he was all, "ew...hahahahaha" and then he peed-his-pants laughed and it lasted for a few minutes that way with all of us peeing-pants and then Sam really did pee his pants and the fun was over.

But it was a good story.

Speaking of good stories, I have a great idea for this story about a guy who has a pot-bellied pig who he *thinks* dialed 911 to save his life while he was having a heart attack. I have to write the story and you'll have to read it to know who really saved his life.

Spoiler alert: It was not the pig.

If you're feeling I screwed you out of a decent blog post today, go here and thank me later. But only go there if you enjoy gratuitous use of the eff word. You know who you are.


birdlime said...

these laugh out loud posts are THE reason i keep coming back. i've def. had peepee laughs when reading through the stories!

Kyle Raker said...

nice. you're raising a booger eater.

Regina Dinardo said...

OK, so I have been secretly reading your blogs, and i am so addicted! This is great stuff, all with stories that I can totally relate to.. from booger eating kids, to becoming totally domesticated to giving up the life of being a downtown cronie! (did i spell that right?) loving it.. keep up the great work, this is good reading!

Teenie Weenie Reginee said...

I think i just opened up my very own blog account..not really sure thought??? i really need to get with these times. Im so outdated it's depressing. I will get back with you on this.

Stephanie Meade Gresham said...

@ Jessica. I can't wait till Wicked. It will be the best 30 plus 1 year old birthday celebration ever.

@ Regina. Thanks for popping in and saying hi. I want to see pictures of your babiesssss.